Dealing with rejection dating world
This installment of Dating With Science (or, more accurately, Not Dating With Science) is about why rejection feels more like a jellyfish attack than a social setback, and what you can do about it other than just blubbering incoherently until the Rapture comes. Those are two terms that are pretty much synonymous.It would be wonderful if online dating sites gave people a third option when responding to a wink/heart/smile/rightswipe. The person who initiated the invitation to engage put him/herself out there. They most definitely realized this when pushing ‘send,’ but found the courage to do it anyways. How great would life be if we could all just keep that in mind when interacting online or off?If everybody remembered how hurt they were when they were rejected, perhaps they’d be gentler when doing the rejecting.
Being on the receiving end of rejection is a very lonely place to be. Perhaps what they listed as preferences or interests does not reflect their reality, so they may be making their actual choices on a whole different set of criteria, unbeknownst to anyone.
Many times people I was interested in totally just dropped communication, even when I thought things were going fine. Am I disappointed that we seem to be breeding a dating culture of flakes? I do my best not to be that person, so here are some helpful tips to keep in mind if you’ve been rejected online: Those online matches probably don’t look nearly as good as their pictures or profiles suggest anyway.
Never get too invested in someone you’ve never seen in person and never heard speak. There’s a chance you committed a blunder that spooked your paramour. Online dating prospects are like buses, fortunately or unfortunately.
But either way, we have a moral responsibility of dealing with it better. 4) Becoming a disgruntled “rejectee” makes you one step closer to a stalker. 5) Getting upset at her isn’t exactly going to change her mind. You’re also screwing it up for all the boys and young men out there in your life who are watching you, observing you are learning from your behavior when you get rebuffed by a woman. If we can’t handle when a woman says she’s not interested, how will be handle it when an employer says the same thing? When we get injured and can no longer run the marathon we’ve trained months for?
And if you do want to change her mind, start by showing you respect her decisions. You letting yourself getting too wounded by her disapproval means you could be on your way to some ridiculous pattern of over-reacting, and at its worst, possibly physical abuse. So not only will she miss out on possible romance, but so will your fellow men whom she’s too gun shy now to even consider. Any life spent chasing goals is going to run into some resistance–romantic pursuits aside.